Dinner by the water 🕊
Dubai 2019 🕊
The worst part of flying is security but yesterday it proved to be a little worthwhile for me. As I went through the scanning booth the man said to me can you just step out and these women will just do a body search. As we were running late I felt a little rushed and when the lady asked me how old I was I thought; Oh god i’m going to be here forever. I said “why”? Then I immediately decided it’s best to tell them. When I did, both women leaped back and gasped. All I heard was a series of ‘my god’, ‘no way’, ‘wow’. Apparently they thought I was 15/16 and making sure I wasn’t travelling alone. This kept me amused all day! I just find it interesting how we can come across so differently to different people. How our genuine appearances can almost fool those around us. The reality is we can be whatever age, dress in whatever clothes, have any profession, wear makeup or not wear makeup, married or single, be confident or not be confident... but in the end people see what they see. That right there is something we forget at times. That no matter what we do or how hard we try some people will just see us differently and we can’t change their perception. So the moral of this bizarre moment is be content and carry yourself with pride. Irregardless of how others see you, be happy with your age, how you look, how you feel, what you do and above all how you choose to live. Alhamdulilah for a wonderful life. بارك الله فيكم .
Touch down Abu Dhabi الحمد لله
He’s something Genuine 🕊 Our bond with others no matter what the relation, is very fickle. Its something you realise as you grow and learn. Maybe we put too much of ourselves into the people we know, so when efforts are not reciprocated we feel so disappointed. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap. I swear by him and only him, you need no one but him. When you realise this it really is a profound moment. You’ll feel free. Suddenly your expectations of others disappear and there is no sense of disappointment. Your trust in him and self belief will guide you in life. You start giving more of your soul without feeling drained, because you’re doing it out of love for him not people. You’ll feel calm. When I started writing I was naturally pulled towards writing about emotions and feelings. I feel too much and I am a being who carries a lot of emotion. But for a while now I need no outlet, no affirmations, no advice, no restoration of who I am and what I believe in. I am firm in who I am and what I see. Now nothing brings me more solace than writing about him, because that’s what my soul needs. This isn’t about me, it’s about Allah and it’s about others. To the woman who cries herself to sleep, for the lonely hearts who weep, the disappointed and hurt souls and for the saddened and burdened people. You are never alone. He is something genuine and something real. You need him I know because I need him too. If you haven’t found him yet then call out to him, he will find you. Don’t look for him in others no one will help you reach him. It’s something you have to do on your own. Find him through yourself and no-one else. He is sufficient for you and you’ll never be disappointed. “….And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a (decreed) extent.” 65:3
La di da Dessert places🍦 Finally Manchester has a dessert place that’s easy to get to with lots of parking! Very convenient if you want a nandos before hand....
Nothing like cookie dough 🍪
The Focus 🕊 You made that thing your focus. The thing that is causing you so much pain right now, you gave it so much importance. In the end you’re broken. It was the centre of your entire existence and your whole life evolved around it. Maybe it was a partner, a burning love, a feeling, a desire, a goal, a hope, ambition, or a dream. I mean we all have them, dreams, but do we rely on them? Do we let our dreams take over our core. That when we don’t attain that dream or reach that goal, or compel that love, or fulfil that desire, we become so broken. Last year was such an eye opener for me, I have watched many people including some of my most strongest friends, lose someone or something, fail at something, have a setback, or simply be disappointed at the way life turned out for them. But maybe we can recover if we shift our focus. Maybe we can heal if we replace that thing that was once the centre of our life, with something ever lasting. A feeling of devotion. My focus is Allah swt, that doesn’t mean I’m perfect or that I am too noble to make mistakes. No. Rather it means I am content, because everything else around me is circulating my faith in him. Job? I’m good with or without, because my sustenance is from him. Love? His love is enough for me. Beauty? I’m not here forever. Health? It’s all from him. Loss? He will unite me with my loved ones. Loneliness? He is my closest companion, he listens and he responds and he’s never too far. He is my focus. In the end I will always bring my thoughts back to him. As soon as I realised this and actively tried to make everything else orbit around my faith, I realised I was happier than ever, and even when I was hit with a calamity I was content with whatever. I’ll finish this post with something inspired by a lecture from Sheikh Hamza Yousaf... this world isn’t supposed to be comfortable for the ones that Allah swt is closed to, because a soul that is connected to him will want to fast forward and be eager to meet with it’s creator. So if you’re in discomfort right now, maybe you’re being reminded of your true home. Your eternal abode where you will never be in a state of loss. بارك الله فيكم.
The Vale of Soul Making 🕊 My faith has become THE most important thing to me and it has strengthened my soul in ways I never knew how. I’ve taken an interest in إنجيل (Gospel) and توراة (Torah) just because they are mentioned in the Quran as holy scriptures. I stumbled across Hicks theodicy of ‘soul making’ which argued that God allows evil and suffering in the world so that as human beings we may become virtuous and develop ourselves according to his will. It’s been on my mind for days. I believe that as humans we are tested and most people from my faith will too, but I never really understood it further. Through my writing, and personal friendships I have witnessed the most amazing people go through the worst things. I’ve heard the purest hearts be broken by evil minds and sooner or later the question ‘why’ Is presented to me. ‘Why me’? I used to say this a lot too in my less wiser years. The answer is I have no idea. I have no idea why the things that are happening to you right now, are happening to you, and why your life turned out this way and not another way. But one thing I do know is that suffering, pain, loss, trauma all teach you one thing and one thing alone. That you are capable of so much. And if you work on yourself you can become strong and you can become better. You can power through anything, and without these setbacks, failures and hardships you will never know your true life. The one where you become amazing. Where you become the best version of yourself. You develop your mind and your body to fight to conquer and to survive. I sometimes feel like focusing on the why, can leave a bad taste. It’s a road that if your mind should take it may lead down a dark path that never ends. You may never find out the answer to all your questions, but maybe by focusing on getting through this time, you may look back someday and find the answer. By looking back you may find that everything turned out just fine and that along the way you became someone better. You became somewhat wiser. Look forward to that day.
At-Tin 🕊 وَالتِّينِ وَالزَّيْتُون “ I swear by the fig and the olive” [95:1] I found these growing in my Khalahs garden in London, and it reminded me of the beautiful surah. It talks about creation and how we’ve been created in the best composition. Even though Olives and Figs are just simple things to us, they have been immaculately designed and their growth is a blessing. Even today olives and figs are known to be very useful as remedies. In a world where beauty is being projected as something so unattainable I think it’s important for all of us to remember, that we have been created in the best possible way. The best. This Surah also signifies how we reach old age and begin to deteriorate, our beauty begins to fade and our strength diminishes. It’s just a part of life, teaching us many lessons that no matter how successful, or how wealthy, or how beautiful you may be, our end is the same because nothing lives forever. Be humble always, that’s something I’m trying my best to be. Allahs creation and his plan for us is not a mistake, it is perfect in it’s design and it’s structure. It’s a small surah but it has many significant lessons, it all depends on interpretation. The verse about old age reminds me of my parents and elders. I’ve seen so much change in their faces and their hands, their abilities and their skills over the past few years. It absolutely terrifies me because I can’t imagine a life without them. It’s so important to spend time with them when they are the most vulnerable and not to abandon them when they can no longer provide for you, or help you, when they become a burden on you, don’t turn away from them. This life is so temporary and as the new year started my level of thinking just reached a whole new level. Induced by fear and worry, not knowing what will change this year, what will I lose? What will I gain? Where will I be? Because nothing stays as it is. But I reach the same conclusion every time by remembering Allah and I calm my thoughts. That he is eternal and absolute and infinite in his mercy. I trust him because as these figs sit in my hands, I understand that my life and all that exists is in his hands. Jummah Mubarak.
Resilience 🕊 Loved last night and loved the company even more. Surround yourself with strong women and I promise you’ll be ok. No matter what you go through or what you’ve come out of, your face deserves to be witnessed and your voice demands to be heard. The truth is I don’t even know any women that aren’t strong, every single one of my friends, from the ones I see occasionally to the ones I see regularly are all warriors. I swear as you gravitate towards having friends that can blow you away with their strength and intelligence, you’ll have no tolerance towards pettiness and people who have no substance. I learn so much through conversations, about myself and about others. It makes me more compassionate and understanding. It makes me want to work harder to better myself. After nights like these where the conversation flows for hours, I always come home with the same thought, that some women are so resilient. You can literally hear their hearts shatter when they bring their stories to the table, yet there in front of you will be a woman sitting, smiling beautifully and you realize that she picked herself up, re-built herself and healed herself with so much grace. She came back as the ultimate fighter. I know the best people ever. Thanks. Bye. @diirtydianna @naveedaraoufi thank you for a lovely evening.
Mothers and Daughters 🕊 I felt a bit sorry for my other page because I’ve not posted anything for a while, so decided to write some poetry . This year has been one of the most informative years of my life. Being a locum means I can pick my own hours and as a result have had hours of quality time with my mum. Cosy conversations during the day by the fire, her telling me about her childhood, her parents, her journey through life. I’ve learnt so much from her, we’ve bonded so much through her stories and sometimes I wonder how she has so much strength. She’s always kept her smile, always kept us together and she truly is the biggest blessing. She never complains and would literally do anything for anyone. She goes above and beyond for people, and as a child I never understood why, I always felt like people were using her. As I grew up I realised how hard it is to be a selfless person in this greedy world, and now all the qualities that wound me up about her, are the reasons why I adore her. She has so much wisdom and so much etiquette. She never offends anyone, she defends even the harshest of people and I just wish I was more like her. I hope Allah swt blesses her with a long healthy life, because I have so much yet to learn. I hope I can be like her someday. Ameen. Mothers are the best gift, appreciate them, spend time with them, keep them happy. And someday maybe your reward will be having a daughter who loves and respects you just as much.
فَبِأَىِّ ءَالَآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ No filter, no edit. This is nothing but his mercy, I’ve never seen such beauty, authentic and real. My whole kitchen was pink from the tones that were coming down from the sky. I prayed tahajjud after a long time, in fact I’ve been finding it so hard to even pray fajr on time. They say that if you want something and you’re not waking up for tahajjud to ask for it, then do you really want it?... because the prayer at tahajjud is like an arrow that never misses it’s target. That He comes down to the lowest heaven just to hear your prayers. You can almost feel it in the air, that seems unpolluted and fresh, and you can most certainly hear it in the silence of the night. Where people are fast asleep, and the streets are quiet. It truly is magical, but you know what the best part is?... It’s that feeling of tranquility that you don’t find at any other time. The Yaqeen that overcomes you, and you know that Allah had bestowed upon you many favours, and all that you ask for now, will also be granted. All you have to do is ask. All you have to do is ask. All you have to do is ask. Let that just sink in. How brilliant is his greatness. Hope you all have a blessed day and may all your prayers be answered. Ameen. #islam #islamicquotes #islamquotes #writersofinstagram
Anchor 🕊 I don’t know my status I don’t know where I stand All I know is I stand before him With my eyes fixated on the place Where the ground meets my face They say ‘the lord is our saviour’ I say yes but he is also my anchor He provides stability and great confidence In situations that are crippled with uncertainty, The hope that he will keep me safe when great storms come for me He does not abandon me To be broken and ship wrecked To be lost at sea He is my security I searched for something tangible and real, And he found me lost and guided me, He is transcendent and more than real, He evades time and space, Reaching me Anytime and in any place, I found a love so pure A sublime feeling yes it is To believe and to be absolutely sure. That God has always been here And will be for evermore
Delicate 🕊 Life really is delicate. It’s so entwined with disaster, we are but moments away Away from danger Or are we dangerous? For dangling our souls in front of strangers, What are we searching for? Validation or some confirmation that we are here and that we are worthy, Are we searching for answers? Or are we questioning our nature? Are we searching for His signs, hoping to find them in others? Where are we heading? And do we accept the things life is showing us? Maybe we’re the ones who were delicate and life itself was once strong and sturdy? And before we knew it, life ended up strengthening us, And we became indelicate along the way as life delicately slipped away........
Ottoman Empire vs Byzantine Empire ☕️ I love going London and spending time with my family, one night just wasn’t enough. Lots of laughter and lots of food, my two favorite things in the world. I decided to take my mum on a road trip, so hard to spend time with her and she finds it hard to get out now. Visiting family made me realize that relationships go as far as you want them to, they require effort and a lot of love, because love always win. Unlike chess which clearly required a lot more practice on my part, I lost miserably. I’m kinda like an old soul now, peace and quiet is what I look for, a nice cuppa and quiet game of chess with good conversations. Missing my cousins already and can’t wait to go back in a few weeks inshallah.
قدَّرَ اللهُ 🕊 She told me thats she’s broken, and I swear by Allah I broke myself. My dear friend and my sister in faith, as I saw her message I myself crumbled inside, because I understood her pain. So I told her to cry it out and she replied saying “I’m not crying, I’m just broken”. The second those letters became words and my eyes delivered them to my brain, and my brain sent signals to my heart and my heart weakened in it’s appointed place, my eyes became blurred with tears. All I could think was she doesn’t deserve this. But maybe in this life some people don’t get what they deserve, maybe their tribulations have nothing to do with who they are. Maybe it’s all about faith for people like this. Almost as though the most noble hearts can handle the darkest times and tragedies that will stain history. Maybe the test isn’t the test itself maybe it’s accepting قدَّرَ اللهُ . The Qadr of Allah. That this is what He has decreed. So that’s exactly what I said to her I mean what else can I say. How do you comfort a pure heart that shouldn’t ever break? Thus the hardest thing in the world becomes this; accepting that what you wanted was not what your Lord wanted, nor was it what he had written, and what has come to pass did so by his decree. To carry a heart that screams in agony, yet when those screams reach your lips all you say is قدَّرَ اللهُ وما شاءَ فعلْ. May we have patience in all of our affairs and may we accept that his is the final decree. Ameen